Learning to Slow Down

Written: 1/31/2024

Published: 1/31/2024

Mood: Contemplative and also frustrated.

Listening to: Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way

Playing: Palia Open Beta (STILL!!)

Current Temperature: 56F/13.3C

So as of today, it's been two weeks since I decided I was going to work on a personal website and continue to distance myself from the greater social media landscape. Let me tell you, it's been kind of weird and difficult trying to break out of those thought patterns that keep you hooked to the screen. Even when engaging with purposefully slower communities (forums and the like.) I still often find myself refreshing the page a little too frequently to look for new things to read and interact with, conveniently forgetting there's a whole backlog worth of stuff to look through not just on forums, but other people's sites as well. It really feels like I'm doing everyone a disservice (especially myself!) while I essentially try to de-program myself from the social media skinner box (is that even the right comparison to make? I'm not sure.)

Dang, even right now as I try to write this post, I'm looking down at my taskbar hoping for the little red Discord notification to pop up and let me know "Hey, someone's saying something!" It's kind of frustrating knowing that I'm like this.

I have noticed that when I actually do bother to take the time to completely disconnect from most distractions, I find I do get a lot more done. The problem is that this is actually still really freakin' hard! It's literally taken me ALL DAY to write this stupid freakin' blog post and it's kind of making me mad. >:(

I guess I should probably forgive myself a little more though, this isn't something I can just do overnight, after all. Maybe I'll come back to this train of thought in another two weeks and see where I go from there.

Quote of the Day: "You can always find a distraction if you're looking for one." - Tom Kite