About Schiavona

Quick Facts

  • Name: Schiavona
  • Email: vorpalschiavona@proton.me
  • Role: Webmaster, Writer, Editor, Conduit for Nonsense, Robot Smoocher.
  • Pronouns: They/Them
  • Western Astrological Sign: Scorpio
  • Chinese Astrological Sign: Metal Goat
  • Age: Old enough to remember when the Spice Girls were popular.

Biography

Some say that Schiavona emerged fully formed from inside a bottle of Arizona Iced Tea. Others say that they just appeared one day, calling into question the validity of the scientific method as it pertained to spontaneous generation. The fact of the matter is they joined Neocities in 2020, fucked around for a bit, got bored, fucked around some more, and then finally built an actual functioning website in 2024. They're a 30-something year old enby on the Autism spectrum, and this is their site to be as absolutely nuts as they feel like being.

When not mastering webs, Schiavona plays games, and tries to do a whole lot of other creative ventures, the fruits of which can be seen on this very website. They share their condominium with a Portulacaria afra bonsai named Leif, a plush of Wally Darling, a very large plush penguin, and a pile of shiny pebbles.

Read the Manifesto

Favorites

Food

  • Sushi
  • Hotpot
  • Steak
  • Brie
  • Hummus
  • Clams
  • Macarons

Video Games

  • The original Crash Bandicoot Trilogy
  • The entire Metroid Franchise (except Metroid Other M)
  • Kingdom Hearts 2
  • StarCraft: Brood War
  • Palia
  • Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town
  • The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons
  • Riven: The Sequel to Myst
  • Splatoon 2
  • Tomba!(NA,JP)/Tombi!(EU)
  • Mabinogi (but ONLY Prior to G17)
  • The original Ace Attorney trilogy
  • Umineko no Naku Koro Ni
  • Super Monkey Ball 2
  • F-Zero GX
  • We Love Katamari
  • Yakuza Kiwami
  • Sonic Adventure 2

TV Shows (Yeah this includes Cartoons and Anime)

  • Star Trek: The Next Generation
  • Kamen Rider W
  • Kamen Rider Kuuga
  • Disney's Gargoyles
  • Cowboy Bebop
  • Serial Experiments Lain
  • Good Eats
  • Iron Chef
  • ReBoot

Fun Facts

  • Schiavona was born without a sense of smell, and has never smelt anything in their life.
  • Schiavona's longest persistent Special Interest is birds.
  • Schiavona was living in New Zealand when they were filming Peter Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring, and still hasn't gotten over the fact thay they missed the opportunity to be an extra in the Hobbiton scenes.
  • Schiavona has purposefully not put a list of their favorite musical artists on this page because if they did we would be here until the end of time.

Back to top of page